Today

Things change in ways you sometimes can't prepare for.

Ways of thinking, priorities, ...

One day you could love something, and the next its quite boring.....

I find myself in a place where I am not so sure which way my life will go.

Just to realize the things I once felt like I couldn't live without, don't do it for me.

I should be living my life, enjoying myself, parting when I feel like it, with no inhibitions.

and from a distance, I am.

but on the inside, I feel stuck..... and BORED.

What should I do?

I have solace in my boredom... I find comfort in the same things...

My heart wants more.... My soul wants to soar....

The only thing that takes me away is my music...

I don't want to settle....

am I settling?????

Are you settling???????????

writing my first song

Normally words come to me so freely. It's a few things that I feel passionately about;

Music, Writing, and Family.

 I could rant for hours about music, writing, or some random story about a crazy cousin of mine. Recently, I have been trying to write a R&B song. I spoke with some people who have experience with music for advice. 

He told me about bars, verses, choruses, and bridges. One thing he told me that I have been trying to keep in mind was, "Keep everything as simple as possible." Of all the information he gave me, I grasped it all except the bridge. 

Now I find myself in a terrible funk.

I don't know what I want my song to be about, I have been struggling with my bars, and I still don't fully understand how to work bridges.

My biggest dream is to be able to do this, but it feels so hard!!!

UGH

I'm so frustrated. Hopefully this will come to me soon.

Creative writing II summary

"I'm done for now. So one for now. Possibly forever, we had fun together. But like all good things, we must come to an end. Please show the same love to my friends. Dear summer," -Jay-Z

This creative writing II class has changed my perception on so many things. I never thought of myself as someone who wrote novels, or short stories. After going through the class, and the workshop process, I believe it has helped me as a writer and as a person.  I think I am a lot more open to listening, and constructive criticism.

I can admit, when I started this class, I had been really nervous about the idea of twelve people reading my work, and telling me what they loved and hated about it. So nervous, I called my Grandmother to complain. She responded with something that I carried with me the rest of the class, and the rest of my writing career. "What would be the difference in this workshop, and anything else you do in life? Anything that you write, or do, people will love and hate. The fact that you are doing this to better yourself is amazing, and a great opportunity."

And after my workshops, I realize that everyone has preferences, and things that they like. Acquired tastes, or things that masses can relate to, it doesn't matter as long as its a great story. I have read stories that I would have never read in my personal life, and I am very grateful for that experience.

I do believe that everything in life happens for a particular reason, and today I know that this class has given me attributes that will help me become the writer that my heart desires.

Will I continue blogging?

Blogging is something that I had not done before this class, but I will continue. One thing that I feel even more passionately about that writing is educating, evolving, and swapping ideas. Blogging will be a perfect outlet for me to do it all!

Will I send out my query letter? 

I am not 100% sure If I will be sending my query letter, mostly because my story isn't finished. I do know that if I do finish, that looking to be published, will be something I will try to do.

How hard was it to find a publisher?

It was very hard for me to find a publisher. I wanted to find a place where my work would be appreciated for what it is. I also had to keep in mind that a lot of people in my workshop didn't know what I was talking about in a lot of places, and I wanted to go some place where I can be understood, as well as the story being told.

Would I self-publish?

That is hard to say, I'm not sure. I think if I did decide to self-publish, I would like to have someone to help me along the way since I am new to everything. A mentor would be something that any new writer should have, especially If I wanted to come out with a new novel, self-published.

I am SO glad that I have had the chance to work with Ms. Fried in this class, and my previous creative writing I class. My poetry, and complete outlook on my writing has changed, and grown. I will forever be grateful for the insight she has given me this whole year.

A publishing house????

Selecting a publishing house?????


I can admit, this is a thought that had never crossed my mind before this assignment. I can understand trying to find out which literary agent I would be interested in, but publishing house? Not so much so. To me, it seems that a selection like this, my literary agent company would decide, but for the sake of the assignment, I think I've made my decision.

Little Brown
Penguin
Harper Collins
Random House
St. Martins Press


In no particular order, I randomly clicked on each website. Looking on the home page, and on the author list, I couldn't seem to find something that looked interesting to me.

Until I finally came to the Penguin site. After I looked over the home page, my interest had been peaked. Once I realized that the web site looked cool, and easy to use, I looked at the overview.  This is when I felt really excited about not only the company but my place with it.

Authors like Toni Morrison, Terry McMillan, and Eric Jerome Dickey, all work with this company. I tried to search the other sites once more after I found these, but they either had no one to catch my attention, or the web site was too complex for me to find one.

Searching for a Literary Agent

Picky, selective, and indecisive.

This assignment reminds me of walking into Footlocker. I might have a particular sneaker in mind that I thought I wanted to buy. Then I will try on two, and then I find myself weighing the pros and cons of each one.

Which one is more comfortable?
Which one cost more?
Which one could  I match with more clothes?
Which one do I like more?

I could ask myself so many question that Ill discourage myself from buying either pair sometimes. Too picky? Too indecisive? I want to find the right sneaker, and as soon as I think I found it, Ill see something else. Once I finally figure out which on I want... They no longer have my size!!!!!

Looking through the Agents, and the Authors associated with them, I saw a few that I felt interested in. The first one being Amanda Urban- ICM Partners, Located in New York, New York. They had been Omar Tyree's agent and I really enjoyed his work. They like to read commercial fiction, family saga, literary fiction, and suspense thrillers. I was very excited about them until I realized this company is currently closed to query letters.

So, I moved on to the next company that I felt like would appreciate my story, located in Hummelstown, PA. The Sara Camilli Agency, who have worked with Eric Jerome Dickey, and Zane. Suddenly I felt Overwhelmed! Both Eric Jerome Dickey, and Zane have wrote books that I Loved. The genre that they enjoy to read included, erotica, fantasy, horror, multicultural,science fiction, and suspense thrillers.  My excitement soon faded when I realized that like ICM partners, this company is also NOT accepting query letters.

 Now I feel exasperated because the two companies that I felt genuine interest in, are not looking for something new. Finally I come to Serendipity Literary Agency, located in Brooklyn, New York. They have worked with Derrick Barnes, Bil Wright, and Majorie Greenfield. Truthfully speaking, I have never heard of any of these authors. I clicked on the genre and I realized most of the things they like are incorporated in my story. Chick lit, historical fiction, middle grade, multicultural, romance, and young adult. Lucky me, they are actually accepting query letters.

Sleep at Four, Math test at Eight

TIRED.

Couldn't begin to explain the way my body feels today.  

Lack of sleep has had me on edge these past few days, but on edge is when I find my best thoughts from inside the back of my mind.

This Sunday, I had a conversation with a friend at the Green Bean for FIVE hours.
About any and everything thing. We shared POETRY. She heard the my deepest feelings.
VENTING, about SOCIETY... 

 She called me a CONSPIRACY THEORIST.... I guess I cant get mad.

Told me the things I Said went over her head; But my POEMS lack complexity.

Love
isn't complex. 
never fails.
never comes when you want it.
is the only thing in this world that last beyond a life time.  
 

I watched Candles in the Sun by Miguel and CRIED my eyes out last night.
http://youtu.be/mTrnI-XKEH0     <-------


Where has our HUMANITY gone?

When did we become so APATHETIC?

Or do I care too much? who can really say at the end of the day? Perception paints each of our realities, doesn't make mine any less real than yours.  

But its no denying the fact that GROUPTHINK; has turned my generation into Molly using zombies???

  

Fiction Revision

Revision...

Revise?

How do I know what to take out of my paper? What should I now include? What should I keep from the original story? Who should I listen to? who should I not listen to?

All of these are questions that I had to ask myself while working on my revision to the story.

The first change I made, actually came from a lot people within the workshop. I decided to change the name from the day my life ended to Alpha and Omega. I selected this name because its a play on two meanings. Not only does it mean beginning and end, but the story is also about African American Greek College life.

I also decided to put in a few scenes that I had, but took out, and the workshop told me I in fact did need. I decided to listen to a lot of people who enjoy my genre, and  people who I enjoy his or her writing style. I did not listen to people who I has writing styles I cant connect with.

I have a particular vision for how I want things to turn out, and what I want to give to my readers. I figured it wouldn't be logical for me to listen to people who would lead me away from what it was I wanted to give each reader.